Digital ramblings without my Dixon Ticonderoga...

Life Rules 1-5

Remember Vizzini’s classic blunders? This man was wise… wiser than the Man in Black gave him credit for being.

“The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…” {Thunk}

There are rules in everything. I am a rule oriented person. I must have clearly defined rules to play Dirty Santa. Ask Marcia or my mother-in-law, I must have rules and I am very loyal to the rules and my compadres. I would take a bullet for either.

Look… We have a motto at Aviation Challenge, “To provide a realistic military aviation experience instilling pride, professionalism, and leadership in today’s youth for tomorrow’s future.” At Space Camp we have our core values, “Integrity, excellence, commitment to team, optimism, and service.” And I have my life rules!

Remember, these are not in order of importance!

  1. Never use a portable bathroom – Origin of the rule… long ago in a land far, far away… Honestly, it was the Kilmichael, Mississippi ball park when I was in fifth grade. Do we really want to relive that moment? I agree. Only once since then have I considered using a portable restroom, and that moment of weakness was at the U.S. Women’s Open at Old Waverly in West Point, Mississippi. I remember thinking they smell like a pine forest.
  2. Always drive your own vehicle – As a young child my mother was driving me 45 miles to my pediatrician, but I was cranky. She allowed our family friend to drive our Oldsmobile so my mother could hold me. My crankiness only grew more intense. I only settled down when my mom was driving. This trend continued through high school and college. Now, I am uncomfortable if someone else, even my husband, is driving my vehicle or if someone isn’t driving their own POV.
  3. Only watch one television show during a season – Television is an indulgence. I can waste more time watching television or dinking with Facebook than I can with any other task during my entire life. So why would I allow myself to watch more than one television show during a season. Currently, I am watching Heroes. I would like to also watch CSI. I spend too much of my time between episodes thinking about the plot. If I watched both shows I would waste more time during a week analyzing the what if’s or the why not’s? I loved the “Miniature Killer!”
  4. Never purchase merchandise from a store playing Christmas music in early November – Why? Is it necessary for retailers to play Christmas music in stores before Thanksgiving? Or, why does a Christmas decoration go up even before pumpkins are carved? Or, why does Santa arrive at malls before Butterball turkeys are stocked in mass quantities in supermarkets? Answer, market share! It is so frustrating that Christmas is more lucrative in the American market place than any other holiday, but we can’t call it Christmas. We are forced to celebrate a holiday. Wait, I am a self proclaimed scrooge.
  5. Always follow the Ten Commandments – This one is very self explanatory, Moses was tight with the creator! Remember the following: do not have any other gods before God; do not make idols; do not take the Lord’s name in vain; remember the Sabbath day & keep it Holy (just like Chick-fil-A does); honor your father and your mother; do not murder (like O.J. Simpson); do not commit adultery (like Bill Clinton); do not steal; do not bear false witness; and do not covet your neighbor’s house, his wife, or any thing else he owns. Simple, huh?

Consideration is underway for rule six; under no circumstances shall Ruth ever eat waffles. No final determination has been made yet on the addition of this rule. However, I hope you will find your own life rules. Live by them, embrace them, and never cheat at poker.